Monday, October 17, 2011

enough already

No wonder I haven't posted for a while This morning I read this notice at my local post office.

Yes, that is a lot of rain. More than a yard of water. Almost an entire year's worth of rain. Oh, don't I wish I could send some of it down to Texas--at least five or ten inches. After all, Texas does not need to become a desert. And quite frankly we have had enough rain for a while. As a friend says, I have earned my right to complain about the weather even if I can't do anything about it.

And it is not just the rain. It is the endless potholders and eyeglass cases. So marketable. But do I ever have enough? Can I catch up? Isn't there more to life than this?

The clueless comments of the relatives. Trying so hard to be kind but just not understanding how huge the loss of my studio is. Why do we always expect more of them? Isn't that the problem?

Today the sun actually shone. I worked in my garden before work cutting back plants for the winter. Load after load of leaves onto the compost pile. Take that and that--incessant rainfall. Take that oh thoughtless relative.  I think of the words of a new friend who lost her home to a fire a few years ago. I think I remember reading about it. Gave me great advice. Don't do everything at once Ann,  she said. One day at a time. Surround yourself with those who do understand you. Your friends, your community, the unbelievable generosity of quiltmakers and artists, craftspeople and customers. These are the people to relate to. Their kindness keeps me on track.

And I tell myself I must make quilts. Not just the potholders and placemats, the table runners and eyeglass cases that sell out of my studio. But also the wall hangings and art quilts that enchant me. The ones I have to make. And so I start a new quilt. One based on the colors of autumn I can see on the Bridge of Flowers. Celebrating the blue sky and glorious colors. The greens and the rusts. The browns and even the blues. Don't you just love this picture? It has been haunting me even before I took it. This is not a quilt I need to make for an order but one I want to make. You must know the difference?

Slowly at first I start. One row like this:

Then another. Sketching out the next row. The rusts. So slowly it goes. Despite all the generosity my fabric stash is slim. I must search for that one piece that will hold it together.

But I can feel it coming together. I can see the outline in my mind's eye. And on Wednesday I can add more to it until it creates the quilt that I know it wants to become. This is why I do it.  And you, what motivates you? What keeps you going? How do you squeeze in the art you want to do?

1 comment:

  1. I understand your frustration, and hope that things get better. The prayer flags that I made after Irene for the community, for the line workers, and for your studio (yes for you!) are still hanging on my garden shed and remind me to be thankful for all that I have, and to be sensitive for all that others lost...

    It just takes time.